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Monte Sonnenberg

Simcoe Reformer
Date Published: Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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Simcoe author Deborah Ellis believes the best way to deal with bullying is to get it out in the open and talk about it.

To that end, she spent the past year speaking with young people who have been bullied and examined their feelings in extensive interviews. The result is a 120-page hardcover book titled We Want You To Know: Kids Talk About Bullying.

The book has been published across Canada and will soon be available in the United States. Most of the youths interviewed are from Haldimand and Norfolk.

"This book will encourage people to have discussions about what these young people have gone through and what others are going through in their lives," Ellis said during a reading and book-signing event at the Simcoe Town Centre Saturday. "By having these discussions, we hope that solutions will emerge."

Ellis encourages these discussions by posing provocative questions at the end of each testimonial, making it an ideal point of departure for classroom discussions about the consequences of bullying.

At the mall on the weekend, several of the youths featured in the book stood up in front of a crowd and read their stories. The familiar prompts to bullying -- physical differences, awkwardness and vulnerability -- emerged in short order. Many of the victims also expressed surprise at how little their teachers cared about bullying and how many of them wouldn't lift a finger to stop it.

"Some of the stuff that happens is really dumb and unnecessary," Jake Fraser, a student at Holy Trinity Catholic High School in Simcoe, said during his reading. "When I got to high school, I was assigned a locker right between the two boys that bullied me the most in grade school. What are the chances? It took a lot of phone calls from my parents to get that changed."

The bullying started early for Fraser. A prime reason, he said, was above-average intelligence and a lack of athleticism. He's since become a musician and is hoping for a career as a videographer.

"To be honest, when I came today, I wasn't going to get up there," he said. "But when I heard the others, it inspired me. People need to know these things are happening. It's not going to stop till they do. I'm just hoping for a future where kids don't have to go through what I did."

One of the most toxic consequences of bullying is the residual bitterness it leaves behind. Kids who are bullied never forget it and are often burdened with unresolved anger the rest of their lives.

"I was diagnosed with mild ataxic cerebral palsy," Crystal Silverthorne of Dunnville said during her reading. "My teachers knew about this, but they were mainly the ones bullying me. I'd get bullied and made fun of by kids, too, but it hurt more when the teachers did it. I'd have trouble finishing my work on time, so, as punishment, the teachers would 'post' me. Posting means I'd have to stand by a metal post all through recess. I was always there. It seemed like every recess, when I should have been having some fun, they'd make me stand by the post."

Ellis is an award-winning author, humanitarian and activist. She is the former chair of the Name It 2 Change It campaign against bullying.

"All the kids interviewed in this book come from my little corner of southern Ontario," she writes in the introduction to We Want You To Know. "This is a lovely part of a lovely country, and if bullying is happening here, then it is happening everywhere."

Monte Sonnenberg 519-426-3528 ext. 150

msonnenberg@bowesnet.com